Bad friends suck. They gossip behind your back, humiliate you and at the worst of times, flirt with your crush. And yet, for some odd reason, you might accept it. We’ve all experienced this situation at some point or another. The REAL problem happens when you're too intimidated to confront your friend about their lousy behavior. But you must protect yourself in order to grow as a confident and successful girl or woman. Obviously, it’s not easy to stand up to people, especially a long-time friend! If you’re unsure of where you stand, here’s how to know when to cut bad friends.
1. They embarrass you
There’s nothing wrong with feeling embarrassed... at times. But if your friend is embarrassing you often, and not in that cute, endearing way, you need to consider why.
Maybe they can’t handle your beautiful personality so they expose your flaws. Maybe they can only feel smart or talent when when you feel foolish and boring. Or maybe they’re addicted to popularity, so they try to steal your things by making you appear less likeable. There could be tons of reasons!
It's also totally possible your friend doesn’t realize they’re being hurtful. In their mind, teasing might be all fun and games. So you need to be strong and express clearly how they’re making you feel. If they act defensive or make excuses instead of apologizing and trying to change, you're better off being your own best friend.
2. Your confidence is fading
Your confidence is the light in your life. A true best friend is meant to ignite this fire, not fade it! When you notice you’ve been feeling less special or self-certain around your friend, it may be a bad sign.
Although we’re responsible for protecting our own confidence, a bad friend may be guilty of crippling it. Do they criticize you often? Are they always fishing for compliments, but never give you any? These may be signs your friend is more of a sponge, someone who soaks up your confidence, while leaving you feeling empty. Not cool!
Remember that a good friend will build you up, making you feel smarter, braver and sexier.
3. Your opinions feel worthless
Do you feel heard? When a friend is disrespectful, they can make your opinions feel worthless. Awful right? It might feel like you two are always in some twisted power struggle, where you’re left feeling like your thoughts and ideas are never valued.
It could happen when making plans, for instance. They might always be forceful about where they want to go, but rarely accept your suggestions. Or it could be about getting advice. A bad friend may be doing either of these things: not showing appreciation for your advice or not caring enough to give you any. Both are signs you should cut off this friend.
4. You get anxiety
You know that yucky feeling-- that threat of worry and stress combined in one seriously uncomfortable moment. Do you have these moments around your friend? Usually, when you feel anxious, it’s your body’s way of telling you something is wrong.
Your friend may be causing you anxiety for so many reasons. Maybe you’re being pressured into doing something that feels weird to you. It could also be that your friend is ignoring your in social situations, leaving you feeling alone and awkward. Whatever the reason, it may be time to cut this bad friend.
5. They don’t push you to succeed
When a friend really loves you, they want you to succeed! Unfortunately, when their jealousy and selfishness takes over, it may be hard for them to truly wish you success. It doesn’t mean they’re an evil person or anything-- they’re just human who are imperfect and insecure just like anyone else.
But it’s no excuse to be a bad friend. Perhaps they need to develop more confidence in themselves, so that they don’t feel so threatened by your success. I know these qualities are hard to find in a friend, but don’t accept someone who isn’t rooting for you.
Have you had to deal with bad friends? We all have something to learn about what it means to have a truly healthy friendship. And if you can't rely on someone, then learn to be your own best friend.