Let’s face it: dating is tough. I’ve heard so many stories from friends. Sometimes it can begin great, and then POOF, he’s a ghost, or other times, you might feel like you’ve taken up a second job in over-analysing and decoding texts. Jeeze! Honestly, there’s no perfect recipe for dating, but there is a way to seek love while keeping your confidence high. That’s why I’ve created this mini dating rule book on how to find Mr.Right.
1. Respect your boundaries
Weak boundaries make it easy for people to overstep them. What are your boundaries? Maybe you don’t like last-minute plans? Or maybe you really like when he communicates often? Whatever your boundary, make sure you never compromise on your needs because you deserve to be happy in your relationship.
Never be afraid to make your boundaries clear when needed. Otherwise, people can take advantage of you, especially if you’re too nice. Remember, there’s nothing “nice” about sacrificing your boundaries. If you stay strong in what you value, you’ll find the right match. Anyone who doesn't respect that is not the right person.
2. Value honesty
Okay, as many of us have probably discovered (sadly), not everyone is honest. But it usually takes time to know this quality about someone. Sometimes people can seem really charming at first, sweeping you away before you’ve truly learned what they’re all about. Always watch to see if a person’s actions match their words to know if they’re genuine. Usually, an honest guy won’t talk loosely and casually about making big plans with you such as trips without getting to know you first.
3. Love yourself
In order to find love, we need to love ourselves. Keeping busy with activities that you enjoy or setting personal goals will help you become the best version of yourself. Happy people attract happy people. Your hobbies could be something casual such as cake-making (like I tried) or even something active like dancing or gymnastics. When you invest in a special activity, you feel more fulfilled, creating positive energy that will attract the right people.
4. Be in the moment
Making memories is an important part of dating. So, as much we want to focus on the future, it’s also important to appreciate the moment. A huge part of connecting with others is just enjoying the little things, like common interests or jokes.
I asked Andrew to weigh in on the issue and he agrees that people sometimes place too much pressure on the future when dating. Although it’s super important to have dating goals and expectations, you also want to focus on making enjoyable memories and experiences with the person. That’s how people connect naturally.
5. Takes risks
Do you put up walls? Sometimes bad dating experiences prevent us from taking new risks. There’s nothing wrong with being careful with your heart, but you also need to let yourself be vulnerable for love and trust to build. So, if you had a great date with someone, don’t be afraid to text him and say, “I had a nice time” or even “You looked cute last night”-- guys appreciate compliments as much as we do.
6. Observe priorities
People focus on what matters to them. Look for someone whose values align with your own priorities. Do you value family? Religion? Money? Find someone who shares a common idea of the “dream” life so that your visions compliment each other.
Andrew and I share the perspective that dating serves the purpose of finding who you ultimately want to marry. Neither of us “casually” dated-- not to say that our way is the right way. Dating is simultaneously the most fun, terrifying, and worthwhile experience that anyone can go through! Enjoy it, but make sure you know what you’re looking for.