Dating While Shy

May 8, 2018


Shy girls can have it tough-- in the dating scene, that is. I would know; I've always been a bit on the shy side--yes, even when I was competing in the Olympics and even still, when I’m on TV. I’m not fully comfortable being the center of attention. But I don't have to be and neither do you. When you're dating, being shy is not a weakness and I’ll tell you why.


When he's Mr.Right


If he’s the right guy, it doesn’t matter if you’re shy! You’ll never have to question your ability to come across as interesting, attractive and memorable because your date will think your shyness is sweet and he’ll work double-hard to make you open up connect with you on a deeper level.


How do I know this? It happened to me. Before Andrew became my husband (and best friend), I was super shy around him while we were dating. But according to him, he saw beyond my shyness because he was attracted to the deeper qualities of the whole package: my values, goals and interests.  So depending on the guy and his personal tastes, he may perceive your shyness as either the cutest thing in the world or not.


Being shy can be a strength


If the guy is a gentleman, he’ll usually see your shyness as a sign that you’re a sweet, modest girl-- that’s not a bad thing! You don’t need to be the loudest, chattiest girl in the room to be attractive. Not every guy wants that bold, sassy type. Some guys love feeling like the White Knight who gets to swoop you up and take the lead on dates. He might actually see your shyness as cute and feminine. In the end, the right guy will appreciate this kind of elegance because he knows your special.


Plus, being shy can mean you’re choosy about dating-- in a good way. When you have your guard up a bit, you seem careful about exposing yourself to new people. This behavior appears confident because you tend to wait to build trust and comfort before being open with guys.  


Practice being talkative


Here’s the less-good news about being shy while dating: you’re not the most chatty. When you’re not sharing and expressing as much, you might not shine your brightest with someone new. Not to worry though; you can work on improving your shyness the same way I did. As an exercise for your next date, try ending your responses with a question to keep the conversation flowing. This effort lets your date see past your shyness because you’re showing interest.


As long as you work on self-love on being open-minded, your shyness will never keep you from finding the right guy.


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