Flirting doesn’t feel natural for everyone. Those cute little gestures girls often do: the giggle, the playful nudge or the witty comeback, are all risks that can make us feel uncomfortable. It’s not easy to put yourself out there. You’re trying to create a fun, light-hearted vibe, while secretly hoping your flirting seems adorable-- not weird. I get it. Don’t worry, everyone worries about these things--just some of us more than others.
When we like someone, we get nervous and self-conscious about how we act. This self-doubt makes it hard to flirt because we’re too anxious to act naturally. If this sounds like you, no problem; you can improve. It all starts with your self-esteem. Here are my tips on how to flirt when you’re awkward.
Take yourself less seriously
Let go of your fears and stop caring about what he thinks. I know it’s hard, but when we can’t handle being judged, we get too intimidated to take risks-- socially and romantically. Ever notice how the type of girl who's comfortable with flirting doesn't take herself too seriously? She lets guys flirt and even tease her a little without overreacting.
But when you overthink everything, you’ll feel pressured and clumsy. Stop worrying about how he sees you, and instead, just be yourself. By taking yourself less seriously, your flirting feels more natural. Just have fun with it!
Learn how to tease
Most guys love being teased-- in the right way. It’s just some quirky thing about their bonding style. When you poke at his habits, you make your connection feel more light and playful. Plus, he’ll feel flattered that you noticed the little things about him.
For instance, if he uses Snapchat often, you can nickname him the Selfie Sucker or if he’s paranoid about germs, you can send him a funny meme about being a germophobe. These types of actions will help build your flirting style.
Be proud of your differences
Learn to be your own best friend. When you love yourself, you’ll learn to flirt by embracing your differences instead of worrying about them. So what if he thinks you’re weird? Or boring or shy? It doesn’t matter.These qualities make you special.
You can reject this truth or roll your eyes, but the reality is that you can’t escape who you are. So start being proud of your little quirks. The right guy will appreciate all the unique things about you, including the awkward things, because he’ll see the value in a girl who’s different.
Besides, a guy who makes you feel uncomfortable is the wrong guy. When you come across the right guy, it’ll be easier to interact with him because your chemistry will let flirting come naturally.
Build your sense of humor
Funny wins every time. Why? Because girls who love to laugh are fun to be around. When a guy sees your funny side, even if it’s awkward, you’re still creating positive energy.
Humor is important for building relationships; it helps you break the ice. It makes interactions feel more easygoing, helping the tension just disappear. But don't try too hard; there’s no right way to be funny, just like there's no right way to flirt. It all comes down to finding your style. Let yours out!
When in doubt, try sarcasm. It lets you brush off your nerves when things feel too intense. Take this example: if you’ve been thinking about him throughout the day, you can sarcastically say to him, “Nope, you didn’t cross my mind at all”, followed by a smile so he knows you’re joking. This type of sarcasm shows that you’re interested without feeling overly exposed. You’ll also put a smile on his face!
Start being less critical of your flirting style. When you let yourself be free, you’ll feel less insecure when dating and won't care what he thinks. There’s no real rules for flirting when you’re awkward; there’s only your way— that’s the right way.