Swiping gets old-- I get it. Even though I never swiped to meet my husband, I have enjoyed being a backseat swiper when my single girlfriends are browsing. It's fun but after a while, the routine gets tiring and repetitive. Many people either ghost halfway through the chat or give the same-old, wishy-washy answers about the type of relationship they seek. Then you start the search cycle again-- annoying, right? To put the thrill back into online dating, here are some tips for all you singles!
1. Give what you get
Do you put effort into your messages? I once watched a friend send a beautifully-detailed and fully-edited text, only to see this reply: “cool me too”. She almost whipped her phone at the wall in frustration. Blah! I'd be angry too. So instead, save your energy and your best texts for matches who deserve them.
This strategy doesn’t mean you should stop putting effort into your texts. I’m just suggesting that early on in your chat, don't invest so much passion before your match has proved they are interested.
Respect your time and heart. If you only give what you get, online dating will be a lot smoother.
2. Try humor
Humor wins every time. Making jokes or being sarcastic is a great way to lighten the mood and create chemistry! Even if you’re looking for something serious, your personality doesn’t have to be all strict and uptight-- unless you match with a disrespectful goose ! Then, yes, stand your ground!
But otherwise, humor is a good route. You can even let yourself flirt awkwardly if that's your style. Especially when chatting through a screen, you need to sound more lively and engaging. Otherwise, your tone can easily fall flat. I’ve seen this happen with my girlfriend from Uni; she’s got the bubbliest personality, but when texting, she sounds very matter-of-fact and formal. So her matches wouldn't feel her vibe and her chats would die out quickly.
We noticed that by adding more silliness to her responses, her matches started investing more effort into the conversations. I believe this approach makes online dating more naturally enjoyable and less of a chore-- for both people! Just keep in mind, though: the one thing you never joke about is your relationship goals. Make those crystal clear!
3. Use emojis :)
Online dating without emojis is like getting engaged without a ring. The experience feels empty and much less sparkly!
You need to make better use of those wacky faces so your words carry more emotion. This way, the conversation feels more alive! And if the mood feels right, take advantage of those flirty emojis as well. Yet, take it easy on the kissy-face emoji-- at least until you know the person better.
4. Give more value to profile descriptions
Profile descriptions get underused. Whenever I'm watching my girls swipe, I have a blast reading all those unique profile descriptions. My friends love reading them too! How much attention to you give the profile descriptions?
Even if someone’s pics don’t appeal to you at first, your heart might melt after reading their profile. Plus, pics can’t show a person’s attractiveness moving in action. If they’re charming and interesting, they might be very desirable in real life, but don’t quite capture that appeal in their pictures.
5. Don’t post Snapchat photos
Maybe you love being a dreamy bunny, but these pics are just the fantasy version of you. Your online dating profile should show your true image— not your make-believe creature self.
So unless you identify with the version of yourself wearing a sparkling halo or super-human doll eyes, then leave the filters alone! Your dating profile is not the place to celebrate your distortion. Just be mature and proud of how you really look. This confidence will get noticed!
6. Don’t play the waiting game
Online dating chats should have a natural flow. You don’t need to play the game of appearing busier or “cooler” in your conversations to prove you're a catch. The right match will see you as a catch no matter what— even if you’re sending texts at super speed.
I’ve watched conversations fade off because of these waiting games. With tons of other singles willing to chat, you should only play hard-to-get after a real date— in-person! But for the online part, it’s best to be available and keep the momentum flowing naturally.