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How to Love Yourself When You're Down

  • Writer: Shawn Johnson
    Shawn Johnson
  • Nov 29, 2018
  • 2 min read

The relationship we have with ourselves is number one. Although our relationships with friends and family is super important, we need to love ourselves deeply in order to be truly happy. When we get down on ourselves, we don't take action to achieve our goals: confidence, health, that dream job. So no matter what, we need to prioritize our self-love. Here are some amazing strategies I’ve learned to develop a better relationship with myself.

Treat yourself

Show your self-love

Treat yourself to random acts of kindness. There’s nothing like a regular dose of self-love to keep you feeling confident. As doctor and herbalist, Aviva Romm recommends,take yourself to the spa ... or at least take a long luxurious bath. Or make time for recharging and rejuvenating by working out, getting a massage or joining a yoga class. You can even enjoy a relaxing afternoon sipping tea or taking yourself to a movie.

Write letters

Write notes to yourself as a reminder to love yourself. I used to write positive letters to myself in a journal. As a teen, I battled anorexia while training for the Olympics and attending high school full time. Stressed and exhausted, I was consuming a mere 700 calories a day and still managing to practice 40 hours a week. So whenever I felt down, I put myself in my BFF mode and write to myself the way a best friend should.

I'd write reminders to be kind to myself. I'd also give myself solutions to my problems, but most importantly, I'd tell myself I’m awesome when I needed to hear it. Use this therapy as a way of showing yourself love when you need that inner strength.

Filter through negativity

Create your shield

When we learn to love ourselves, we're less sensitive to negativity. We begin to accept that while we can't control how others may treat us, we are fully capable of treating ourselves right. And as we begin to appreciate ourselves more, we care less about negative things outside our control. Over time, you'll develop a stronger protective barrier for your self-love and grow better at defending your happiness.

Find your strength

This internal filtering system will make you strong. You'll be empowered to ignore your self-doubts or the people who exaggerate them. So whenever you’re exposed to negativity, you’ll learn to make a choice: either surrender to the negativity or like yourself more. By choosing yourself, you’ll start trusting in your ability to judge yourself. And the more you learn to like yourself, you’ll judge more positively each time!

So what if they think you’re awkward or quiet or too tall? It's only insecure people who make such judgements-- don’t join the club! Everyday, you need to positive, self-empowering mindset. When you act like your own best friend, you'll treat yourself better. With time, your relationship with yourself will grow stronger and you’ll find happiness and support from within.

6 Comments


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jackrobin849
Jul 09

Such a powerful reminder that self-love isn’t optional—it’s foundational. When I’m feeling low, dressing up in something bold like the Tyler the Creator Igor Suit helps me reconnect with confidence and creativity. Sometimes, loving yourself starts with expressing yourself.

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6prudy
Jul 01

I absolutely agree that building a strong relationship with yourself sets the foundation for happiness. The techniques you shared—like writing positive notes to yourself and filtering out negativity—remind me of the choices we make in life simulation games like Bitlife

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