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Summer Fling or Real Romance? Know the Difference

Summer romances can feel dream-like. Some dashing gent sweeps you away, takes you on sweet, sunshine-filled dates, and before you know it, you’re too caught up in the bliss to notice if he’s even truly falling for you. Sometimes, in his mind, your relationship is just a summer fling-- nothing serious. Unfortunately, if you don’t know his intentions, you might be heartbroken if your new romance fizzles out with the season.

Back when I was in the dating scene, I became very sharp at sensing the difference between a guy who’s a real romantic versus a casual dater. Every woman or girl deserves to know when it’s safe to give her heart. To protect yours, look for these 5 signs that he might not stay for long.

1. He comes on strong

True love doesn’t need to happen in a hurry. Real relationships take time, patience and investment over a long period of time. But if he comes on super strong, it’s usually not because he’s smitten with feelings; he’s smitten with something else-- something physical-- you get it.

Although good guys can come on strong too, they’ll deal with their enthusiasm in a more respectful way. He won’t be pressuring you for anything physical unless you’re comfortable.

2. He’s “open” to a relationship

Ladies, I can’t stress this point enough: if he says he’s “open” to a relationship, he’s not serious about dating. This answer is an unclear, cloudy response to avoid labeling the relationship as something committed.

Aside from my own experience, I’ve had tons of friends get this response from guys. It makes them feel excited about the possibility of a relationship without actually having one. No matter what, a guy who’s ready to commit will tell you clearly— no confusion, no mixed messages. He’ll give you pure clarity because he needs to know you’re ready for him too!

3. He doesn’t get to know you deeply

Ever fall for a guy, only to realize you barely know each other? It’s easy to get lost in the thrills of a new romance without pausing to notice if there’s a true connection. Does he know where you went to school? About your friends? Family? How about your plans and dreams?

Rub away the love fog from your eyes and see clearly. You may realize his priorities are not about getting to know you on a deep level. If so, he’s just a summer fling.

4. He doesn’t introduce you to friends

A guy’s friends represent the special people in his life. If he’s keeping you separate from this important group, he’s suggesting that he doesn’t see the relationship long-term.

But be aware: there are guys who will let you meet his friends. Don’t worry though, you can detect if he’s serious based on how his friends treat you. Do they greet you as someone special to him? Or do they regard you with little interest? When a guy is truly excited about his relationship, his friends will reflect that respect and excitement with you.

5. He asks for spicy pictures

You are a princess, not a visual. Guys who ask for these type of pics, early in the relationship, are not being respectful. He’s looking for short-term fun and he’s not even being caring enough to hide these intentions.

So don’t be flattered by these type of requests. You shouldn’t have to flaunt your selfies to gain his approval. He’s not a gentleman. A real gentleman would never ask you for spicy pics right away because he’ll be too busy treating you like a lady.

If a guy shows these signs, he’s not ready for real romance; he’s a summer fling. Unless you’re able to see what’s happening, you may risk getting hurt. Protect your self-esteem by dating carefully and selectively so you can save your time for someone worthy of your love.

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