We’re all taught that jealousy is ugly, but isn’t the feeling normal to some degree? I thought about this after a breathtakingly beautiful woman sat near a friend and me at lunch and we both froze and stared. We shouldn’t feel guilty for a natural reaction. The problem begins only when we can’t deal with jealousy in a healthy way.
Jealousy exists in all of us. Instead of feeling ashamed of it, here are a few things it can teach us.
You’re only human
Jealousy comes from insecurity, and all humans have insecurities. When you aren’t fully happy with yourself, someone else’s gifts can feel like evidence that you are somehow less. That is insecurity talking. Nurture your self-esteem so you can face jealousy without sacrificing your confidence. You don’t need to be the best at everything—only the best version of yourself.
Jealousy helps you learn
Notice what triggers your jealousy: someone’s accomplishments, clothes, appearance or popularity. If success upsets you, perhaps you need achievements of your own that make you proud. If popularity bothers you, it may be a sign that you need to like yourself more.
Recognizing the trigger helps reveal what matters to you. Decide whether those things are genuinely important or whether your priorities need to change. Then choose goals that fit the life you actually want.
Jealousy helps you grow
Jealousy can become fuel for growth, but not by turning life into a competition. Use it as a reminder to notice and nurture your own gifts. Envy becomes destructive when another person’s strengths make you love yourself less. It becomes useful when you can admire them without downgrading your own worth.
Accepting that jealousy is human can make you stronger and more self-aware. Apply that energy to new goals instead of directing negativity toward people who have already reached theirs.